Dolly Parton will once again serve as the Celebrity Spokeswoman for International Breast Appreciation Day on September 20th. Dolly was hired as a last minute fill-in for the role (she announced her retirement last year) after new Spokeswoman Taylor Swift was deemed to be underqualified for the position.
When asked why Taylor Swift was dismissed from the position and what made her underqualified, Chairman Bing TaTas of Thailand said "it's because she don't got no titties! We no can have spokeswoman who don't have no titties! How we appreciate her? How she appreciate herself? Maybe she get boob job and get titties and come back next year. Until then, she need Wonderbra."
"My daughter, she six she got bigger titties. How come white woman got no titties? Why she be famous if she no got titties? This stupid!"
Dolly Parton, who is a country singer like Taylor Swift, said "maybe I could just leave her one of mine in my will. They're hurting my back and dragging the floor these days anyway."
As usual, Dolly's service as the International Breast Appreciation Day will be greatly appreciated... more than most!
