Jeremy Clarkson in anti Jeremy Clarkson rant

Funny story written by matthatt

Saturday, 21 August 2010

image for Jeremy Clarkson in anti Jeremy Clarkson rant
Jezza belts himself

He is known for his outspoken views on just about every topic under the sun and a favourite to be found under The Suns headlines for his controversial opinions on everything from the Welsh to Burkas. There is no stopping him when he gets a bee in his curly headed bonnet.

Jeremy Clarkson's latest target is, Jeremy Clarkson! That's right he has had enough apparently.

"Who the flipping heck does he think he is" Mr Clarkson began the diatribe in his usual, inimitable style "he talks like a semi illiterate thug with delusions of grandeur" the Top Gear presenter went on and on, warming to his subject.

"I wish he would just shut up! One day, someone is going to flipping well punch him square in the kisser, in fact I might just do so myself" at which point Mr Clarkson, launched his lanky, six foot plus frame from the divan and began to punch himself repeatedly in the face, screaming "take that you bastard! You think you're so bloody smart don't you? With your self satisfied, smug bastard smirk slinking across your gormless features, take that! And that!"

After about twenty minutes, the TV presenter and part time journalist, regained consciousness, where he had collapsed in the lobby of the London hotel, the location chosen for the interview.

A statement was released to the press from Max Clifford, PR shaman to the stars, which told the media that Mr Clarkson would be pressing charges against himself for common assault.
In retaliation, Mr Clarkson, also being represented by, a now clearly confused, Mr Clifford said that he would be defending himself in court.
We await round two with baited breath.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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