Mel Gibson launches "Patriot" sex toy for randy men whose partners fall asleep - but it doesn't work for Jews

Funny story written by Noshing Mink

Wednesday, 18 August 2010

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image for Mel Gibson launches "Patriot" sex toy for randy men whose partners fall asleep - but it doesn't work for Jews
This woman forgot to give her man a blow job before going to bed. Fortunately for her, her man isn't Mel Gibson

Actor and wife-beater Mel Gibson today launched a sex aide designed for men whose partners fall asleep without giving them blow jobs. The "Patriot" is a synthetic mouth complete with moving tongue, into which the male can place his member when he gets into bed. Provided the device's AAA batteries are fully charged, the man will wake up the next morning with a smile on his face, all without disturbing his partner.

Gibson, who is a strong advocate of pre-nocturnal fellatio and who even recorded a self-improvement tape aimed at persuading reluctant women to provide oral sex at bedtime, is said to be excited with his new product, which he uses all the time. However, he pointed out that it only works with an un-circumsized penis, saying that "The Jews can make their own sex toys."

The Patriot isn't the first sex toy made by Gibson. His first product, the Mad Max, was withdrawn as it consumed too much energy. He then went on to produce the Lethal Weapon, but that required two men to operate.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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