Lindsay Lohan Sues Jail For Millions Over Abuse!

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Tuesday, 10 August 2010


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An attorney for Lindsay Lohan says that his client has launched a lawsuit against the Los Angeles correctional facility where she served some time recently.

Lindsay claims that she had no privacy, even to go to the bathroom.

Attorney Samuel Livingstone stated that his client was never left to herself and had to go back into a flimsy offset toilet to use the facilities.

"Ms. Lohan stated that she was treated like a little animal and she seldom had any peace and quiet the whole time.

In response, police have stated that Ms. Lohan had the same treatment as other prisoners. In fact, she had much better.

Officer John Lawson stated that Lohan had no peace because she kept visitors coming to see her and that she had about 40 visitors in a week, compared to one or two that most prisoners had.

"Her cell had that special place for her to go back into to use the bathroom. But she decided to walk around the cell in the nude."

Apparently, Lohan refused to put on any clothes as a matter of protest.

"'You can keep me in a cage but I will be free of clothes', she told us after we told her to get dressed . As for peace and quiet, she kept her music going 24 hours a day."

Lohan then appeared before reporters to say that she is suing the correctional facilities for ten million dollars. "I hope that hanging judge has to kick in for most of it."

"Ten million dollars to be treated like the average person in jail, even with special benefits?", asked one reporter.

"Oh, I plan to give $100,000 of it to a charity. I think it will be to that Salivating Army. They help people in need. So this is a noble cause."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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