Naomi Campbell denies her line of cosmetics makes people's noses grow longer and their trousers spontaneously combust

Funny story written by Noshing Mink

Tuesday, 10 August 2010

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Govt Health Warning: Naomi Campbell's perfume could add an inch to your nose

Things haven't been going well for model Naomi Campbell lately. Firstly, she received some precious stones that weren't as big and sparkly as she had hoped. Then, she got cross-examined at the International Criminal Court and called a liar. Now, there are reports of problems with her line of cosmetics.

Campbell is famous for the Blood Diamond collection of women's perfumes, which have secret ingredients from southern Africa and are marketed with the logo "Let others do the hard work". However, retailers have been reporting complaints from customers. Harrods of London, which has the largest perfume department in the world, announced that they would be suspending sales. The manageress of the perfume department said:

"We had ladies coming into the shop claiming that the perfume caused their noses to grow an extra inch in less than 24 hours. One customer complained that no sooner had she applied the perfume than her trousers spontaneously combusted."

The Charles Taylor Benevolent Fund, which manufactures the cosmetic, said that they would be looking into the problems carefully and would be sending a couple of men round at night to see every customer and give them a nice surprise. Meanwhile, the model herself was unavailable for comment, though her spokeswoman blamed it all on Carol White, the model's former agent. "Carol is out to get Naomi. She's a bad, bad person."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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