It is Okay to Kill a Mockingbird

Funny story written by C. Cranium

Saturday, 24 July 2010

image for It is Okay to Kill a Mockingbird
The insects nemesis, mockingbirds

Harper Lee wrote one novel, the literary classic TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD, and then disappeared into writer's-block-dementia. High school students everywhere, who are required to read the book, are forever grateful there isn't a mockingbird trilogy.

Surprise, Lee has now returned with a new pre-post-humus* written work that will capture the fascination of aspiring entomologists, painters, and the quirky-book loving crowd. That is, if and when the thing actually goes to press -- something Lee is trying to avoid. Published or not, unauthorized portions of the book have been posted on the Internet and fans can see the brilliance returned.

The new Harper Lee book, BUGS ON A WINDSHIED (from pirated versions), has a narrator telling the story from a six-legged perspective. Mockingbird attach survivors of the insect community, beetles, bees, wasp, grasshoppers, dragonflies, and flying what's-its, all agree -- it is okay to kill a mockingbird. Disagreeing with the original best seller, bugs concur that mockingbirds are a deadly menace and that their song is a battle cry that brings terror not enjoyment. And mockingbirds are lazy good for nothings that have no heart to sing out.

Flying and jumping insects prefer smashing on a windshield at sixty miles per hour to being eaten by despicable mockingbirds who gobble their bothers as they jump to safety when a lawn mower passes. The beautiful array of colors on a windshield deathbed is a far greater life contribution than the pointless death by bird beak. In the humid and sweltering south, where TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD was set, there are many colorful insects that can adorn a windshield. The colors of smashed insects -- reds, blacks, yellows, grays, oranges, browns, blues, purples -- all combine to a kaleidoscope of masterpieces that are a worthy contribution to art, in contrast to the tragic end inflicted by a mockingbird.

* Harper Lee is actually alive, which negates the post-humus classification. She also doesn't plan on publishing the latest work, which means it will be sent to press by her heirs after she is gone. Therefore the book is pre-post-humus.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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