Written by Bertram Chapley

Wednesday, 13 April 2005

The guest list for the new ITV reality TV series has been announced . Producers for the second series of I'm a Dead Celebrity Get Me Out of Here have released the short list of contestants for the series which begins filming in the Australian jungle location in early May.

As in previous Celebrity programmes there may be some last minute changes but the series producer Stephanie Droop says that negotiations are in a very advanced stage with the following actors or performers, Benny Hill, Frankie Howard, Sid James, Laurence Olivier, David Niven, Mae West, Hattie Jacques, Dame Anna Neagle.

Also rumoured to appear is Steve Brookstein who since winning Pop Idol last year is missing presumed dead .

Perhaps the most surprising news is that The Chuckle Brothers have received draft contracts from ITV via their agent Derek Tweddle at his offices in Rotherham.

"We had considered death as the next advancement in Paul and Barry's career" said an excited Derek "However we had only considered this following receipt of numerous death threats on the acting siblings and thought that this could be enacted on an episode of the hugely successful Chucklevision programme."

In a further statement Derek said "We may now need to advance the termination of the brothers in order to appear on the Celebrity show. Both Paul and Barry are overawed at the prospect."

An insider at the BBC says there are no shortage of volunteers to carry out the killings and the bloodbath should appear on an episode of Chucklevision to be screened later this month.

In the last series of I'm a Dead Celebrity Get Me Out of Here leading actor Bob Hoskins was the only member of the team found to be alive two days into the shooting of the contest.

John Wayne won the Bushtucker challenge when he initially winged Bob with his Winchester at a range of about 300 yards but followed the blood trail to finish him off at close range only 12 yards from the camp.

Fellow contestant Harrison Ford escaped detection but was voted out after the fifth day.

The last series was a close run contest won by Charlie Chaplin with Kenneth Moore and Doris Day coming in second and third place respectively.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Reality TV, Jungle

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