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Rosemary Shrager Told To "Cook Off" Out Of The Jungle

Funny story: Rosemary Shrager Told To "Cook Off" Out Of The Jungle

With just four more days left of ITV's 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!', TV cook Rosemary Shrager has been told to get the cook off the show by it's viewers. Rotund Rosemary, previously best known for her role on ITV's 'Ladette to Lady' when...

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Down In The Jungle

Funny story: Down In The Jungle

Peru has called on explorers to stay away from an isolated Amazon basin rainforest tribe after pictures of 'uncontacted' tribal members were published on line. This news has had a devastating effect on famous explorer and registered semi-halfwit,...

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Fatima Whitbread tipped to win willy waving contest

Funny story: Fatima Whitbread tipped to win willy waving contest

Fatima Whitbread is being tipped to win I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here by an Australian bookie. "The Aborigine is the only fair dinkum bloke left in the programme since the scouser Freddie Starr chucked a sickie", claimed Crocodile Ocker.

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Freddie Starr ate Fatima Whitbread's testicles

Funny story: Freddie Starr ate Fatima Whitbread's testicles

Comedian Freddie Starr was dramatically rushed to hospital yesterday after eating Fatima Whitbread's testicles on I'm A Donut Get Me Out Of Here. The pot-bellied scouser suffered an allergic reaction to the Bushtucker Trial but dismissed reports t...

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Mystery Amazon Tribesman - "Bugger Off. We're Not Lost, We're Hiding."

Funny story: Mystery Amazon Tribesman - "Bugger Off. We're Not Lost, We're Hiding."

The discovery of another "lost" Amazonian tribe in dense rainforest, close to the Peruvian border, may have excited the world's scientific and archaeological communities, but according to reports, the tribesmen are none too pleased. It seems that...

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Amazon Jungle Tribe Has No Concept Of Time

Funny story: Amazon Jungle Tribe Has No Concept Of Time

Researchers have reported that the Amondawa tribe, who were first discovered in the depths of the Amazon rainforest in 1986, have no notion of time as an abstract concept. Chris Sinha, Professor of Psychology of Language at the University of Ports...

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Stacey Solomon All Set To Rake In The Cash After Being Crowned Jungle Queen

Funny story: Stacey Solomon All Set To Rake In The Cash After Being Crowned Jungle Queen

Newly crowned jungle Queen, Stacey Solomon is poised to earn squillions after her crowning as Queen Of The Jungle on Ant and Dec's I'm A Celebrity - And I've Fainted! Honest! Give Me Some Of Bob's Oxygen! The lovably dippy Essex girl mit der big b...

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Feathersham finds the Lost Jungle Boy SuBo

Funny story: Feathersham finds the Lost Jungle Boy SuBo

India: For the last 150 years there have been reports of a jungle boy named SuBo wandering the jungles/plains in India riding Tigers and Elephants. Dr. Peter Feathersham departed London England in 1900 via a steamship bound for India to find if th...

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Jungle King Gino A Bit Worried About Coming Home

Funny story: Jungle King Gino A Bit Worried About Coming Home

Italian chef and newly crowned King Of The Jungle, Gino D'Acampo was over the moon tonight following his richly deserved jungle triumph. Gino proved that he can cut the mustard when he's in a jam and that he can tolerate being surrounded by tarts,...

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George of the Jungle Caught in Bed With Tarzan's Wife Jane

Funny story: George of the Jungle Caught in Bed With Tarzan's Wife Jane

A fight is looming in the African jungles as George of the Jungle was caught in bed with Jane. The dim witted vine swinger was discovered doing the horizontal mambo with Tarzan's wife by Cheetah and an Ape named Ape (who met for their weekly game of...

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Letter To Katie. Gone But Not For Long.

Funny story: Letter To Katie. Gone But Not For Long.

It is with great sadness that I can confirm Katie Price has left the jungle. The bongo bosomed broad finally had enough of the trials set for her by the voting public. Will she finally now understand that people don't like her very much? Will s...

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Jungle Joe Bugner cries: Get Me In There!

Funny story: Jungle Joe Bugner cries: Get Me In There!

Former boxer Joe Bugner is set to have his own 'Rumble in the Jungle' when he becomes the latest to join I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. The heavyweight hardman is stepping in to replace Camilla Giddyup who quit the show after just five days.

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Jungle Based Romances Destined To Fail

Funny story: Jungle Based Romances Destined To Fail

It was bound to happen. Jordan, and husband Peter Andre have announced that they are to split up. The couple met on TV reality show 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here' which was set in a jungle somewhere in Australia, which was set up by Ant and Dec...

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Jungle Contestant Claims Her Boobs Were Really Cold.

Funny story: Jungle Contestant Claims Her Boobs Were Really Cold.

I'm a Celeb Get Me Out Of Here contestant and all round useless bitch Nicola 'Placcy-Baps' McLean (who we'd never even heard of prior to this because we don't read the Daily Liar) complained that her boobs were cold during a jungle trial, forcing the...

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Timmy Mallet Hot New Tip For Cillit Bang Job

Funny story: Timmy Mallet Hot New Tip For Cillit Bang Job

Much to Barry Scott's chagrin, it seems that he's about to get the boot from the lucrative Cillit Bang advertising contract, only to be replaced by celeb jungle irritating bastard Timmy Mallet, who remained an irritating bastard despite having gained...

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I Wish I Was a Celebrity

Funny story: I Wish I Was a Celebrity

With the celebrities already lined up for this season's I wish I was a celebrity get me into there announced, ITV are having to back track as several of the big names pull out when it is revealed they have to talk to Ant and Dec. Scam, the lead si...

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The Jungle Book revealed to be based on a true story of prostitution and bestality

Funny story: The Jungle Book revealed to be based on a true story of prostitution and bestality

It has been revealed today that the popular Disney movie The Jungle Book is actually a true story of prostitution and bestiality.

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Cubical Wars - Day 1

Funny story: Cubical Wars - Day 1

Monday, day one - I arrive in the cubical jungle refreshed and revived from my weekend of R&R. Having been a veteran of many skirmishes, I know the safest thing to do is get to my desk, hunker down and pray to avoid the minefields. You can never be too careful at the office.

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Breaking news…

Trump Family Publishes List of Places They Will Build New Trump Hotels

Coincidentally, they are all located in countries with no extradition treaty with the U.S.
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