Larry King Suffering from Debilitating Butt, Elbow Spurs

Funny story written by Charpa93

Saturday, 3 July 2010

image for Larry King Suffering from Debilitating Butt, Elbow Spurs

Larry King is finally retiring after 25 years as host of the Larry King Live show to, as he puts it, spend more time with his wife and kids.

Sources close to King, however, claim there is more to this retirement than meets the eye. King is suffering from painful tailbone and elbow spurs. "He's been showing up day after day, sitting in the same position for 25 years and it's finally showing some wear and tear on Larry's elbows and especially his butt. "The man just doesn't have the padding to do this anymore. We've tried pillows and donuts and nothing seems to help," said Larry's stage manager.

Doctors have told King that if he continues sitting in the same position for much longer, he could actually lose his butt due to lack of oxygen in the tissues. The condition is known as posterior pneumenosis and strikes the elderly who have a tendency to sit on their butts a good portion of the time.

Folks close to Larry are already calling him the "buttless wonder" when he's not around. "Actually, that's why he wears suspenders. The man is a virtual walking stick," said King's assistant.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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