Following the news that the lead singer of U2, "The Bono" is to have his entire spine removed so that it can be blessed by the Pope, the remaining band members have taken steps to replace the star for their summer tour dates.
The controversial decision by the Dutch star had initially left the band in a significant predicament until they were able to identify a suitable candidate to replace "The Bono", aged 72.
The band released a press statement today explaining that for "the foreseeable future", a 'Mr James Bono of Norwich' would be stepping in to lead the band.
It appears that the replacement Mr Bono, is a butcher from the Norfolk city, who had written to the band in a purely speculative move, seeking some free tickets for a show in return for "a lovely piece of brisket".
However, on reading the letter, the band's guitarist "An Edge" decided that the Norwich man would be ideal to replace the singer for the arena concerts that they are due to play.
"His surname is Bono" he briefly explained during an interview this afternoon.
