The Wurzels to step in for U2 at Glastonbury

Funny story written by Roy Turse

Tuesday, 25 May 2010

image for The Wurzels to step in for U2 at Glastonbury
U2 are upset about cancelling but wish The Wurzels 'All the Best'

Following the shock announcement that U2 have had to cancel their headline gig at Glastonbury, Michael Eavis confirmed this afternoon that The Wurzels would be taking over their slot. He said that the band would be ramping up their stage show to suit the Friday Night top billing on the Pyramid stage.

"The Wurzels have had a massive year, especially since they championed the fight against the tax hike on cider," Eavis told reporters, "They have had some chart success with a re-release of an old song, and they've been interviewed on 'The One Show'".

Eavis went on to explain that the band has been busy writing new material and were intending to headline a few festivals next year. "I don't want to give away too much, but they now incorporate additional elements such as synthesizers and huge puppet animals into their act. Tommy Banner told me they have also commissioned a giant yellow Perspex Combine-harvester which they hope will be ready in time."

Asked if there was a likelihood of any collaboration with other artists at the show, Eavis said that it wasn't out of the question. "Dizzee Rascal is on just before them and I know he's a big fan. And I did hear a rumour that Green Day could fly in to do 'The Saints Are Coming' with the Wurzels as a tribute to U2's charity work."

U2 have had to pull out due to Bono's back injury which required urgent surgery. U2 guitarist The Edge said that the band were sorry they couldn't perform, but they wished all the best to the Wurzels. "We'll be watching how it goes down - it should be a hell of a show."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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