In an unparalleled dramatic twist next week, Corrie viewers will have to wait until after the 9pm watershed to see the dramatic siege sequences involving Tony Gordon and the staff of the Underworld bra and knicker factory. Probably including Janice, Les's ex who has a thing about that bin man, and Hayley, who in real life is a proper woman, playing a man who's had a sex change. Or something.
All very confusing.
So we sent our ace showbiz reporter Barry Muff to get the dope on the latest Corrie developments. Some hours after setting out, he returned to our Manchester office with a bag of prawn cocktail crisps, a can of Pepsi, and frankly, not a great deal else.
Producers of the legendary TV soap would only concede that there will be a siege at the factory prompted by escaped murderer Tony Gordon, who had Liam Connor run down by a car on his stag night and tried to drown Roy Cropper in the canal.
Before changing his mind for some reason or other.
In fact, all our Barry could get out of Corrie producers was that Gail and Tracey Barlow will still be banged up, and that the Rovers will pretty much be open for business as usual, with ex-convicts Steve and Becky McDonald manning the pumps. Unless the police take it over as some kind of operations centre.
Which wouldn't be such a bad idea, as they'd have a choice then between Betty's hotpot, something from the kebab shop, or a Full English from Roy's Rolls.
To be perfectly honest, we already knew all this, and we apologise for wasting your valuable time, which would have been better utilised by watching the episodes of Emmerdale that you recorded on Sky Plus.
Oh, and we sacked Barry Muff for being chuffing useless, and because we never really liked him anyway. The last we heard of him, he was flogging snide trainers on Burnley market.
More as we get it.
