Kristen Stewart Wins Big Lawsuit Over Grandfather's Case

Funny story written by Bureau

Monday, 17 May 2010

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Although it happened nearly ten years ago before anyone knew anything much about Kristen Stewart, there was a case in court that has just now been settled.

According to the records, Kristen's grandfather, Patrick, was in his late 60's at the time and began relying upon a new purple pill on Saturday nights.

It seems that on one such night he had taken one pill and then forgotten all about it as there was an accident in front of the house and since they were babysitting with Kristen, they tried to keep her in the house until everyone outside in the wreck were taken care of. They were afraid she might see something that would upset her as she was only 8 years old.

After all the excitement, Patrick had put Kristen to bed and taken a second pill, forgetting that he had already taken one.

Suddenly there was a cry in the night and someone yelling "IT'S GOING TO EXPLODE! GET SOME ICE! IT"S GOING TO BLOW UP, I TELL YOU!!"

Next a very excited Stewart came out in a funny shaped robe and called the hospital. Only 15 minutes later, he was carried out moaning about 'Blowing Up' and trying to pull his robe back together but it wouldn't stay.

So that brought on the lawsuit that was finally settled out of court this week.

No, it wasn't over the near-explosion even after 4 hours but the lawsuit stated that seeing the whole process had damaged little Kristen and that she could keep having nightmares about it for the rest of her life.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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