Lily Allen's Third Nipple Featured in Lips, Hips, & Tits Monthly Magazine

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 20 July 2010

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image for Lily Allen's Third Nipple Featured in Lips, Hips, & Tits Monthly Magazine
This is a recent photo of Lily's pet dog Nippy, which was named after her third nipple.

LONDON - Lily Allen said that she has never denied that she has polythelia, which is the condition of having an accessory or third nipple.

Allen said that she first noticed it in grade school when she saw that her chest did not look like the chest of other girls her age.

She said that at first her mother and grandmother merely told her that it was simply a mosquito bite that would not go away.

Once Lily grew up and started dating she realized that it was not a mosquito bite, but instead that it was actually a third nipple.

She said that the first boy who pointed it out to her was Jeremy Crumpetstraw who said that he actually thought it was neat since he had three female nipples to play with instead of just two like his previous three girlfriends Gretchen Hillingstone, Penelope Briarshire, and Bathsheba Tiddly.

Lily read over seven books about the female bodily phenomena and learned that Carrie Underwood and Ann Boleyn, the second wife of Henry The VIII also had three nipples as well.

Allen finally stopped being self-conscious about her third nipple with the help of her good friend Russell Brand. Rusty even bought Lily a dog and named it after her third nipple, Nippy.

Lily recently learned that GOP mouthpiece and noted crybaby Glenn Beck has finally admitted that part of the reason why he is always so damn angry, upset, and pissed off is due to his third nipple.

The noted United Kingdom publication Lips, Hips, & Tits Monthly Magazine will be featuring Lily's three perky nipples in its September issue.

SIDENOTE: Lily stated that she purchases specially made bras with three cups on the Internet at www.amazingthreecuppedbras.tit.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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