Sexy Kim Kardashian Caught Up In Cat Flap

Written by Skoob1999

Tuesday, 20 April 2010

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Don't Touch Me Neck!

Sexy model Kim Kardashian found herself at the centre of another storm in a D-cup yesterday after holding a kitten up in the air by the scruff of the neck for a photo shoot.

The treatment was branded as 'cruel and unusual' by activists, but Ms Kardashian says that the kitten was fine and that its owner and a veterinary surgeon were on hand to ensure that the animal suffered no unnecessary physical or emotional trauma.

Perhaps predictably, animal rights supporters didn't view the event from a similar standpoint, trying to label the raven haired beauty as some kind of animal psycho, saying that even if their mothers picked them up the same way, that didn't make holding a kitten up by the scruff of the neck in any way right.

One supporter even went as far as suggesting that if Ms Kardashian wanted to hold a kitten aloft, then she should have done the right thing and hired a cherry-picker for the day.

Or at least half of the day. After all, cherry-picker hire this days needn't be unduly expensive - Charlie's Cherry-Picker Hire Company are running a special deal at the moment.

Speaking from the UK, our resident 'Cat Whisperer' Martin Shuttlecock insisted that the animal rights people were going way over the top. He told me:

"Those animal rights people are really stupid. It's the most natural thing in the world to pick a kitten up by the scruff of the neck. It happens all the time in nature. It's as natural as a kick up the arse when the little bastard pisses on the floor in the house or attacks your defrosting chicken breasts on the kitchen worktop. Being picked up by the scruff of the neck, or kicked soundly up the arse for misbehaviour is all part and parcel of being a kitten."

Kim Kardashian is in Australia.

With a koala bear.

More as I make it up.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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