Miley Cyrus Attacked And Mauled

Written by Skoob1999

Saturday, 3 April 2010

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I Can Do Mauling. I'm Dead Good At It.

Former Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus was attacked by US film critics today, and given the critical mauling of her life for her performance in the movie 'The Last Song' in which she shares top billing along with real life boyfriend, Aussie actor Liam Hemsworth.

Miley, renowned for her stunning ability for being able to sing, talk, eat and whistle at the same time, and for not listening to a word anybody ever says to her - yeah, I was, like, what-ev-errrr - has finally admitted that she'll probably need acting lessons if she is to pursue a successful career as an - erm - actress.(?)

Critics agreed that Miley was 'okay' at pouting, mugging for the cameras, slamming doors, charging aimlessly about and generally being Miley Cyrus in the movie 'The Last Song' but argued that she brought little if any substance to the part and that if she wanted to be taken seriously as an actress, then she was going to have to cut out her incessant and meaningless yakking and extricate her head from her asshole.

Miley's response to the mauling was to go for a run around the streets of Tuluca Lake. where she was seen in animated conversation with herself, pausing only once as she attempted to retrieve her acting career from a drain.

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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