A young New York City woman today rubbished reports claiming that Girls Aloud blonde bikini-babe Sarah Harding was planning on being the new Lady Gaga.
Stefani Germanotta told our reporter that it made no difference if Cheryl Cole, Paula Abdul, President Obama, or even the great Lord himself, Simon Cowell thought that Harding was going to be the new Lady Gaga, or how much support they gave her - it was just not going to happen.
Because if anybody is going to be the new Gaga, it's going to be Stefani Germanotta, and no mistake.
Ms Germanotta spoke to our New York correspondent in a hotel bar on Lexington Avenue. Wearing a hat that resembled a telephone, she told us that she was the best qualified person in the world to decide who the new Gaga was going to be.
Because Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta - meaning herself - is Lady Gaga.
Which threw our reporter a little. He asked her if she was sure about that, and she replied that indeed, she is Lady Gaga.
At which point, our reporter mumbled an excuse and Googled Gaga, where to his surprise he found a picture which closely resembled the woman he was talking to.
"Is this you?" he asked her.
"That's me," said Stefani Germanotta.
Our reporter explained that it was a shame that Miss Germanotta was really Lady Gaga because it took the entire Spoof angle off the story. When she asked him why, he explained that for it to be a Spoof he would have to interview somebody pretending to be Lady Gaga, or somebody who thought they were Lady Gaga, but not the real Lady Gaga because then it wouldn't be a spoof - it would be a real news story.
"So what if we pretend I'm somebody else pretending to be me?" Lady Gaga asked. "Would that work?"
Our reporter explained that he didn't know how Spoof editor Mark Lowton would take it, so he terminated the interview.
He did say that Lady Gaga would be a hard act to follow and that he doubted that Sarah Harding would be up to it. Or Cheryl Cole for that matter.
More as we get it.
