HONOLULU - Shakira and her new Spanish 'Boy Toy' Rafael Nadal were enjoying a much-needed vacation in the nation's 50th state
Nadal was quite tired from his play in the Australian Open and Shakira was quite tired from her 124 mph hour dancing, wiggling, and shaking that she does every night in her professional act.
Shakira says that after each performance she loses a total of four pounds. one pound from each bun, one pound from her stomach, and one pound from her crotch cookie.
The Colombian dancer said that she does not lose any weight from her tata's and adds that she is thrilled because there is really not much there in her 'tataland' to begin with.
Shakira says that she is descended from a long line of small-breasted relatives including both grandmothers, three aunts, a great aunt, and her uncle Claudio that the family does not really mention except at Christmas time.
Rafael was asked what he thinks about Shakira, who at 33, is ten years older than him.
The Spaniard grins and says that Shakira is the most wonderfully sexy older woman he has ever known including Pamela Anderson, Britney Spears, and Kara DioGuardi.
He said that each woman had her pluses and her minuses, but that the Colombian Wiggle Woman does not have any minuses, unless one considers her A-Cup size chi-chi's to be a minus.
Nadal said that there are four things that stand out about Shakira. He smiled, took a sip of his Sprite Zero, and said that the first two things are her firm, supple, nubile, but somewhat smallish-as-heck titties.
He said that the third thing that he loves about Shakira is that she is one of the greatest cooks he has ever known. He says that Shakira is just as amazing in the kitchen as she is in the bedroom.
He says that she can take road kill, and work her cooking magic and within two hours that road kill will become something that if you close your eyes, you swear you were eating rib-eye steak.
And the fourth thing that Rafael likes about Shakira is what he playfully calls, her 'playhouse.' Nadal says that because Shakira is in such fantastic shape due to her dancing her cosita chula (pretty little thing) is the tightest one that he has ever had the pleasure of pleasuring.
He said that the first time that he stuck his Senor Vibora (Mr. Snake) in her tercera base (third base) he swears it was as if all of a sudden Shakira had suddenly developed a third hand. He said it felt so fantastic that he almost fainted but he didn't because he was afraid that she would think that he was some kind of nerd or wimp.
In other news. BEEP, the BBC is reporting that Queen Elizabeth II, has just received her 1,396th hat. It reportedly was a gift from Russel Brand and Katy Perry.