HOLLYWOOD - Well after a month, or actually 17 days, the XXI Winter Olympic games have ended. And the city of Vancouver must now find a discreet way to send 48 tons of garbage, rubbish, condoms, broken ice skates, and Jack-In-The-Box wrappers over to Calgary.
Meanwhile back in Tinsel Town, Jay "The Chinmaster" Leno prepares to host his very first "Tonight Show - Part II."
Leno was asked if he watched the Olympics. He replied that he hadn't except for the discus toss. He quickly caught himself and remarked, "Oh, you're talking about the Win-ter Olympics."
He said that he did catch the closing ceremonies and was impressed with Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young member Neil Young.
Neil, who wore a Spanish bolero hat in honor of Spain, a Carnaby Street shirt in honor of England, and a Cherokee loin cloth in honor of America sang his big hit Heart of Gold in the key of G in honor of Greece.
Young who is famous for his one string leads, off-key vocals, and personality that makes a stop sign appear hyper sang in 17 different languages including the very impressive Swahili.
Jay, who is still one of the most hated men in America for the way he helped to kick Conan O'Brien's skinny little ass out the NBC door, proudly boasted that he initially had scheduled to have the gold medal winning American ice hockey team, but the team did not win the gold medal, they were beaten by the Canadians.
Leno offered the invitation to the Canadian hockey team who declined saying that they did not like the way that their fellow Canadian Conan O'Brien was treated by Leno and the NBC 'suits.'
When the Canadians were told by Leno that Conan is not Canadian, they shook their heads and replied that they did not believe him and that they would be staying in Canada to soak up the tons and tons of adulation, praise, and Canadian Whiskey that was going to be hurled on them.
Leno became very upset. He told them that just because of that he will never have Canadians Celine Dion, William Shatner, Steve Nash, Neil Young, Shania Twain, or Cross Canadian Ragweed on his show. Ever!
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Cross Canadian Ragweed is actually from Oklahoma.]
Jay sent an email to the Canadian goalie and told him that he had gotten a pretty good trio of ladies to replace them; Vanessa Hudgens, Kristen Stewart, and Deepika Padukone.
The goalie emailed him back, "Bite me Mr. Potato Head."
