CHICAGO - Kate Gosselin was in town shopping for a new wristwatch. While at the highly prestigious Winds of Chicago Mall she received a call from one of her neighbors back in Pennsylvania.
The neighbor notified her that her latest book, The True Story of King Kate Gosselin - The Real Reason That I Cannot Get A Date had just been named the number one book by The New York Morning Mentioner.
Gosselin who has been quite depressed since her divorce from Jon "Little Jon" Gosselin said that she is thrilled beyond belief to hear that her book has top the best sellers chart.
She added that she was very leery about writing the book in the first place because she felt that it made her look less than perfect. She quickly added that her body is fine including her tata's which have never been touched by a plastic surgeon.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Or a lawyer, banker, architect, accountant, NBA player, or electrician.]
Kate went on to say that she has recently been in communication with three different motion picture studios who want to buy the movie rights to her book.
The blonde mother of eight said that one of the film companies Gold Palace Pictures wants to cast Cameron Diaz in the role of herself.
Mrs. Gosselin said that although Cameron Diaz is actually three years older than her she knows that the film's makeup artist can make her look the same exact age.
Kate also noted that in a recent photo she saw of Ms. Diaz she did notice a little hint of cellulite on her upper thighs. Gosselin said that she does not have any cellulite anywhere on her body, but again stated that she knows that Cameron's movie makeup artist will do whatever needs to be done in order to hide Cameron's unsightly cellulite.
Mrs. Gosselin was asked if she had ever personally met Cameron Diaz. She answered that she hadn't. When told that Ms. Diaz may not like the cellulite remarks she made about her Gosselin merely smiled and replied, "Well the little cutey pie can just get over it, that's all I can say."
In other news. Simon Cowell has just announced that his production company is cancelling the Samoan version of American Idol. Cowell said that when AI held the Samoan Idol auditions, none of the 238 singers made it through to the next round. Cowell said that everyone of the Samoan Idol wannabees was either off-key, pitchy, or in the cases of three singers had arrest warrants out for stealing coconuts.
