Polanski wins best director award in Berlin

Written by matwil

Sunday, 21 February 2010

image for Polanski wins best director award in Berlin
The Ghost Perver

Roman Polanski has won the Silver Swastika for best director at the Berlin Film Festival for his new film 'The Ghost Perver'.

Polanski could not accept the award as he is under house arrest and fighting extradition to the USA over a conviction of having made some of the worst bestselling movies in history, such as 'Rosemary's Turkey', 'Chinayawn', 'Diary of a Forbidden Pervert' and 'The Most Tragic Version of Macbeth Yet'. His producer Alain Sarkey said 'He is most honoured to get the award, and says thanks to Germans for overlooking his perviness. He wishes the Americans would do the same.'

'The Ghost Perver' is about a film director that is about to be tried in the USA for being a raging pervert, and then uses magical powers to disappear from that country like a ghost and reappears every few years in Europe to haunt underage girls across that continent. 'It is largely autobiographical', Sarkey admitted, 'and reflects Polanski's pervy career very well, starting as a pervert in Poland and them moving to America to become a very famous one there.'

Polanski himself said to the producer: 'Even if I could go and collect the award I wouldn't, as a Pole I only hate Russians more than I hate Germans. And anyway, every time I collect an award I usually end of breaking the law with little girls and get thrown into jail for it.'

'The Ghost Perver' has received mixed reviews from critics, one saying 'If it wasn't for its famous director this would go straight into the trash, it's dire', and another commented 'I don't think Polanski realises just how ruthless American law authorities are, they won't let this go just because he's rich and famous. Oh, the film. It's crap.'

Polanski is considering emigrating to England, where if sentenced for his crime will be given the harshest punishment given to perverts in that country - being interviewed by social workers and attending a group therapy meeting and told not to do it again.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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