Hoping to shift attention away from her inability to hang on to a man, or her no-longer- bankable, one dimensional characters on film, Jennifer Aniston will instead be featuring her new Beverly Hills home in the next edition of Architectural Digest magazine.
While her professionally decorated rooms were the focus of the article, Aniston was interviewed as well, though her responses seemed to be derived from the character she played in "Along Came Polly", which sounded amazingly like the character she played in "Bruce Almighty", or in "the Good Girl" or in "The Breakup".
As soon as photographers were completed with the shoot, interviewer Ivan Aneugig wasted no time in folding up his notepad and making a bee-line to the door. "I just couldn't take anymore", says Aneugig. "Nobody understands me, I'm so conflicted, I'm not really overbearing, I just want to be loved, what did I do wrong?" Aneugig mimics. "She went on and on. I wanted to kill myself".
"Her taste definitely improved after she contracted with a decorator", says Aniston publicist, Moira Gurglestein. Jennifer would have done the place in pink wallpaper, Ikea furniture and lace doilies. That alone would have scared a potential suitor away. At least now she stands a chance at a second date, provided she doesn't talk much".
Anniston's new movie, "Conflicted but Cuddly" appears in Art theaters across Des Moines, Iowa next weekend.