Cheryl Cole: Snow White or Poison Dwarf?

Funny story written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 26 January 2010

image for Cheryl Cole: Snow White or Poison Dwarf?
From the new video

London - (Girls-A-Lewd): A video of newly re-released German rock group Rammstein's 2001 hit Sonne will see Cheryl Cole parodied as a 'gold dust-addicted Snow White' and her Girls Aloud bandmates as lewd sexually-obsessed dwarves.

The reworking of the Neue Deutsche Härte band's smash hit video has been described as a mix of 'precious heavy metal meets hardcore porn' according to celebwatch site LA FagHagSlagMag.con this week.

"No offence to Cheryl, ja!" Rammstein drummer Christoph 'Doom' Schneider said today.

"Just a little fun-poke at the precious little fraulein's new Snow White image."

The diminutive singer, songwriter, dancer, fashion designer, author, entertainer and reality TV presenter has undergone a transformational rebranding since her 2003 catfight with a London nightclub lavatory attendant.

Now billed as the Nation's Sweetheart some say Cheryl is a dead-ringer for former title holder Dame Vera Lynn - minus the botox, of course, the lip-plumpers, the cheek-fillers, the liposuctioned saddlebags, the boob jobs, etc.

Rammstein first released Sonne as a single following the success of their Mutter-Faakaa album.

The band's vocalist Till Lindemann has said he originally wrote the hit 'as an entrance song' for Ukrainian professional heavyweight boxer and current WBC world heavyweight champion Vitali Klitschko.

The prize pugilist's open admiration of Cheryl is said to have soured recently after she turned down the chance of a romantic date during her separation from footballer husband Ashley Cole.

Simon Cowell is 69.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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