CHARLOTTE, North Carolina - Senator Kazoo Mickler, Republican from North Carolina, was in town as the featured guest speaker at the Annual Tar Heel Textile Mill Managers Convention.
Senator Mickler is spearheading a unique national health care program that he has named The Kazoo Mickler National Health Care Program That Won't Cost The American Taxpayer's Up The Wazoo.
The feisty senator from North Carolina said that he decided to author his own plan due to the fact that most of his fellow constituents seem to be content with just sitting on their keisters and not doing a mint julep's swig about it.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: A mint julep's swig is an old North Carolinian term first used back during the American Civil War. It basically translates into 'not doing a damn thing'.]
Senator Mickler has been threatened with senatorial impeachment for his statement that the best and cheapest answer to national health care is your basic everyday Exorcism 101.
Katie Couric asked Senator Mickler if he was really serious about his National Health Care Program based on exorcism.
He looked at her, took a puff from his illegal Cuban cigar and remarked, "Little lady, you have asked me if I am serious about my National Health Care Program on exorcism? And to that I answer effen A I'm serious. I'm as serious as the fact that you dye your black roots blonde."
Couric fired back that she does not dye her black roots blonde and that her roots are in fact true blonde, and as blonde as Paris Hilton's hair.
The senator smiled and replied that according to three damn good sources, who he won't name but whose initials are B.F., K.P., and W.E., he knows that her real hair color is black and he would be willing to bet $1,000 that her curtains do not match her carpet.
Couric turned red, she spilled her bottle of water, and she ran off to find a little girls room.
In an unrelated story. 93-year-old comedian Grandma Lee has turned down the producers of Dancing With The Stars who had offered her one of the 16 spots on next year's edition of Dancing With The Stars. Grandma Lee was asked why she had turned down the opportunity to be a celebrity contestant and she grinned and said that the reason is because being a comedian she dances kinda 'funny.'