X-Factor's Lloyd Daniels Gets The Dancing Boot

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 30 November 2009

image for X-Factor's Lloyd Daniels Gets The Dancing Boot
The moon resting on top of Mt. Richard Burton near Lloyd Daniel's home in Wales.

LONDON - The latest victim in the X-Factor saga is 16-year-old Lloyd Daniels.

The young lad was told by Louis Walsh to pack his bags and head on back home to Wales.

Cheryl Cole told Walsh that he did not have to be such a 'shithead' about it. Louis replied that he cannot help it since being a 'shithead' is what he does.

Danni Minogue told Walsh that if he was on fire she would not lift her dress to pee on him.

Cole started laughing when Simon Cowell stood up and walked over to Louis with a cigarette lighter in his hand.

Minogue told Simon that she had said that she would not lift her dress to pee on him.

Cowell said that he had misunderstood then, as he thought he had heard her say that she would lift her dress up to piss on the old geezer.

Host Dermot O'Leary told the judges that, that was enough with this talk about peeing and pissing as it had made him want to go backstage and have a bloomin' pee.

Simon said to Lloyd that now, at least he can go back to Wales and pursue his other dream of being a professional mountain climber.

Walsh started laughing and said that he had read in The London Hand-Held Daily Mirror that Lloyd had confessed to the show's makeup artist that he would not mind climbing Cheryl Cole.

Cheryl blushed. Danni blushed. And O'Leary told Simon to try and keep "Fat Boy" under some type of control. Simon replied that he had to understand that Walsh is just basically a rude, crude, piece-of-pigeon droppings.

Walsh smiled and said that he had been called lots of names before but never piece-of-pigeon droppings.

Dannii turned to him and said that a piece-of-pigeon dropping was at least pretty whereas Louis looked like an overgrown elephant ball of shit.

Danni said that she wanted to wish Lloyd the best in his quest to be a mountain climber.

Lloyd, who prefers to be called Lloyd thanked everyone. Dermot asked him what he would take from his experience. Lloyd smiled and said that he would be taking the autographs of Alicia Keys and Rihanna who had both performed on the show.

Lloyd then added that he would also be taking all of the mental pictures of Cheryl Cole's lusciously-looking legs.

The camera panned to Cheryl who was shown throwing Lloyd a kiss and lifting up her black off-the-shoulder mini-dress revealing her succulent-looking thighs.

The camera then panned over to Simon who was sitting next to Cheryl. Simon's tongue could easily be seen sticking out about four inches.

Lloyd then left to go backstage where he started crying and did not stop until Cheryl went back stage and allowed him to rub both of her legs for a full five minutes.

In other news. The Who have announced that they will be touring 17 cities in Africa. Roger Daltrey said that they will not be performing. He added that they are just doing the 'tourist thing.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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