Angelina Jolie Eyeballed By Billy Bob Thornton

Funny story written by Bureau

Saturday, 5 December 2009

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Angelina Jolie Eyeballed By Billy Bob Thornton

It's getting harder and harder to keep up with all the new stories about Angelina Jolie lately but the latest and probably most unexpected is that she is being pursued by her former husband, Billy Bob Thornton.

"Angie is older now and can appreciate the finer THING'S in life", Billy Bob was quoted by a mutual acquaintance. "He's got the hots for her again. Wouldn't that be wild if they got back together?"

Asked if it would work out this time, the guy didn't hesitate.

"Of course not! You should know Billy Bob Thornton by now. One week he's up, the next week he's down. And I'm not talking about sex, he's usually up for that, but aren't we all?"

Thornton is not disguising his feelings apparently, according to several news stand pieces. He's after Angelina and wants her to know it.

But then, last week, he started in on vampire movies.

"I think I could really get into that blood sucking thing. That's what all of us in show biz are about. We're all sucking blood from the public. That's why I love the music business. It's not a business to me, like the acting. There's no money in it, but a lot of satisfaction."

Right now he's apparently trying to sing his way back into Angelina's heart.

"I'll love her forever", he was once quoted as saying. "But tomorrow, who knows? Won't be here forever. But that is one wonderful wo...hey, look at this new tattoo I got!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more