The Tiger Woods Scandal: From "Golf Gate" To "Hell's Gate"

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 3 December 2009

image for The Tiger Woods Scandal: From "Golf Gate" To "Hell's Gate"
Mandara Sumati who claims that Tiger Woods, 33, fathered her 37-year-old daughter Tigress.

ORLANDO - Women 'friends' of "El Tigre de La Madera" (Tiger Woods) are literally coming out of the woodwork, so to speak, (and if you'll pardon the pun as well).

One Pensacola, Florida reporter said that before it's all over Mr. Woods will probably end up making Hugh Hefner look like Clay Aiken (in the girl department).

Reports about alleged trysts are now starting to filter in from places such as Nuevo Laredo, Mexico; Osaka, Japan; Bombay, India; and yes even Wasilla, Alaska.

One woman, Mandara Roshan Sumati, 63, from Bombay, India, reportedly is claiming that Tiger Woods fathered her 37-year-old daughter Tigress.

When Mrs. Sumati was informed that Tiger Woods is only 33-years-old she said, "Oh so sorry, math no work. I call back later, when I get better info."

Another lady who said she lives in a pyramid in Egypt Shukura Amunet Habibah, said that she met Tiger when he was playing golf in the desert.

She said that he autographed one of his balls and handed it to her. She said she keeps it underneath her pillow to protect it from the harsh desert sand.

She went on to say that even though she does not understand English she was told by a camel breeder who was working as Tiger's caddy that Tiger Woods told him that one day he would return to her pyramid and make her his bride.

Meanwhile, Tiger Woods lawyer, Alvin McFlannel has said that luckily now with the widespread usage of DNA, they have already been able to completely eliminate 72 of the 74 women who have so far come forward claiming to have carnal knowledge of "The Tiger".

One lady, who has been identified as Sukiyaki Fukasushi of Osaka, Japan even had the audacity to say that she had a charcoal drawing that was drawn by her sister Kiki as she observed her and Tiger in a highly advanced stage of intimacy.

And so the Tiger Woods soap opera known as "As The Sand Trap Turns" continues.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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