Michael Jackson 's*cked c*ck like a m*therf*cker'

Funny story written by raouldukecommando

Monday, 23 November 2009

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Michael Jackson 's*cked c*ck like a m*therf*cker'
A still from the final Jackson film 'This Is It'

A storm of controversy is growing after it was alleged that Michael Jackson 'sucked c*ck like a m*therf*cker' during his years of fame and celebrity.

The allegation was made by Seamus Heaney, former Professor of Poetry at Oxford, and recipient of the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1995, in an article for the Times Literary Supplement last week.

'Oh yeah,' continued Heaney, 'he was all about the cock. He couldn't get enough of the white stuff.' Heaney, whose seminal early poems including 'Blackberry Picking' and 'Death of a Naturalist' deal with the transformation from innocence to self-knowledge through a rich use of symbolism and metaphor, suggested that Jackson 'chowed down on a bagful of dicks' before going on stage, 'like cum was on fuckin' rationing. Man, he was all fucked in the head with blowin' guys off, he was one sick fuck.'

Heaney's controversial comments have been supported by Tom Paulin, a fellow Irish poet and student of Oxford. 'Seamus has got that motherfucker down, man, ' he said at a recent lecture to an audience of academics in Lisbon, 'why Michael nearly called one of his albums 'I'm a cocksucking muthafucker so help me god, hot damn'. Instead he renamed it 'Thriller' instead. Extraordinary.'

The family of Michael Jackson have refused to respond to the allegations but have praised Heaney's work, especially his collection of poems 'Digging Potatoes Like a Cunt.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more