Local man, Damian Hogan this evening awoke from a nap, only to be confronted by a big chunky blonde woman choking on kangaroo testicles in the jungle.
"WTF?!" Hogan shreiked, before realising that he was watching 'I'm A Celebrity - Get Me Out Of Here!' with that Geordie bloke with the really big forehead. And his mate. The short arse. The clever little shit.
Further bleary eyed enquiries revealed that Katie Price had also been attempting to eat eyeballs, earholes and arseholes, with a lesser degree of success.
It turns out that the big chunky blonde woman was none other than 'Kim' a 67 year old cleaning freak. And she kept saying that she felt sick.
Hogan could only gawp.
"I slept through it all," he told us later. "That means I'm all out of Spoof material. I'm screwed for the week, now. I can't believe Katie Price baulked at having kangaroo testicles in her mouth. Given her past history I wouldn't have thought it would constitute much of a problem."
More as we get it.
