Oprah Winfrey Announces She Is Quitting Her Show

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 20 November 2009

image for Oprah Winfrey Announces She Is Quitting Her Show
Oprah (shown on the right) on her recent trip to Botswana wearing the tradtional Botswanan shopping dress.

CHICAGO - Oprah Winfrey in town because this is where she films her show and lives told her audience that she has decided that it is time to end her long running talk show.

Winfrey trying to hold back tears but being unsuccessful told her studio audience that after careful consideration with the most important person in her life, the person who has been there for her through thick and thin, good and bad, fat and fatter, that she has decided that she will be televising her very last show sometime in 2020. And she stressed that it is not to be confused with the show 20-20.

Ms. Winfrey was asked by Chicago's KKKX news reporter Shiloh Dishmaker that it was nice that she had decided to make her decision along with her long time partner Stedman Graham. Oprah shook her head and said, "Steadman! Girl I be talkin' about my BFF Gayle the Whale."

Thrown for a loop, Miss Dishwater asked Ms. O why she calls Gail a whale. Oprah said that it is just a little inside joke between her and Gayle and that she has vowed never to ever reveal the reason for Gayle's nickname.

Dishmaker smiled and told Oprah that she knew the reason why she refers to her BFF as Gayle the Whale. Winfrey raised her eyebrows and told Shiloh that there was no way on earth that she could possibly know why she gave Gayle her nickname.

Miss Dishmaker asked her if she would be willing to put her money where her big fat mouth was, she quickly caught herself, apologized and said if she would be willing to put her money where her mouth was.

Oprah 100 percent certain that Miss Dishmaker could not possibly know why she called Gayle, Gayle the Whale told her that if she guessed the reason for Gayle's nickname that she would give her $1 million.

"Tax free?" Shiloh asked.

"Dat be tax free." Winfrey replied.

Shiloh said that the reason that Oprah had given Gayle the nickname of Gayle The Whale was due to the fact that Gayle loves to wear low-cut jeans and when she does the top of her string bikini thong panties show in the back giving the allusion of being a whale's tail.

Oprah, whose skin color is quite black, literally turned white, well let's say medium gray. Her mouth dropped open and a little bit of slobber came out and fell on her $400 Oscar de la Renta T-Shirt.

"Girl." She said, "You are positively correct. Damn! Damn spam! damn spam!"

"You will take a check right right?"

"Uh huh."

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I guess that 'damn spam' must either be a Chicago term or else an old 1950s negro term, because I had never heard it and I even looked it up in the quintessential book on quotes Buckingheimer's Book of Quotes.]

[WRITER'S NOTE: Ditto.]

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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