Adam Lambert's Homosexual 'Gimmick'

Funny story written by ladyaiken

Wednesday, 18 November 2009

image for Adam Lambert's Homosexual 'Gimmick'
It looks like the bratwurst is no longer Lambert's favoured delicacy

In a bizarre twist last night, American Idol Runner Up Adam Lambert's publicist admitted something fans had been hotly debating since Lambert first appeared on our screens in late 2008. Sorry boys, the Python-clutching glam rocker is in fact STRAIGHT.

Lambert had been due to 'Go In' on Good Morning America in a pre-recorded interview with Diane Sawyer later this month. Sawyer is well-known as the woman who helped such acts as George Michael, and fellow Idol star Clay Aiken, reclaim the closet.

According to an the interview with Sawyer, Lambert said he was forced to lie about his sexual preferences in order not to be cut from the final cast of Idol. He alleges bosses 'Glammed him up and showered him with metaphorical glitter' in order to sell him to the mass teenage female audience. Tearfully he confessed "Simon [Cowell] told me un-gelled hair, a steady fiancée and a love of English tea and scones just wouldn't get me very far."

But Mr. Lambert's publicist had been forced to leak the story early after suggestions that Drake LaBry - Lambert's 'boyfriend' - had sold his story to People Magazine for a seven figure sum.

It's believed that last week, the duo had a disagreement over LaBry's contractual terms. He is said to have been 'irate' over tour manager's requests that he share a room with Lambert every night. Unfortunately, LaBry was unavailable for comment at the time this went to press.

Adam's Mother issued a statement this morning. In it she said "I support my son no matter who he chooses to love. I always knew he was straight. I pray that his fans find it in their hearts to forgive his misleading statements and continue to support him."

Lambert says he's "Sorry" and hopes his fans "Will be able to buy his records in the future."

He plans to marry his fiancée in a private ceremony next February.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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