Amy Winehouse Calls The Police On Boyfriend

Funny story written by Bureau

Sunday, 1 November 2009


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"He's hexed me! He's hexed the house! He's into Voodoo!" came into the police station for the tenth time, all from a caller identifying herself as Amy Winehouse.

Amy, who's latest beau is Percy Lance of the Hard Rock group "Fireprick Skinheads", apparently kept calling police headquarters and 911 until someone finally responded.

Friends of Amy had recently been stating that the singer has been acting even stranger than normal lately, after hooking up with Lance.

"Yeah, she holds one shoulder up high as she wears one regular shoe and one high-heel. Also she has one eye opened really wide", stated Shirley McKee.

"That's not all", stated her companion. "She comes to parties like that and one eyebrow is heavy, one slim! Plus there's no way to describe her lipstick and the way she holds her mouth."

However, after that tenth call and the three 911's, officers finally went to the house where the couple were reportedly staying.

"He's hexed me! I'm a wreck! Amy yelled according to officer John Dickson. "She also accused him of practicing voodoo and said it would do her no good to leave the house."

The officers confirmed that Winehouse did indeed look like a wreck with the miss-matched shoes, limp, different eyebrows and one hunched-up shoulder.

But at five minutes after midnight, Dickson reported to police headquarters that the two officers had solved the case and Ms. Winehouse would be fine.

"What Lance has done is install fun house mirrors. Every time Ms. Winehouse looked into any mirror in the house, she'd have to fix herself up to conform to the image she was seeing. Apparently, whenever she went to her friend's house at a party, she'd look into their mirrors and she would see herself as the friends claimed, all crooked and out of shape, and look away.

Thus far, Percy Lance has not been charged with any crime. However, Ms. Funhouse....Winehouse has moved out!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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