The inquiry into the mysterious death of former Boyzone singer, Stephen Gately, has released a statement into its initial findings which suggest that the queer Irishman was killed by Death.
Gately was found dead in his apartment in Mallorca, Spain on Saturday. There were no signs of a struggle. Well, no more signs of a struggle than the rampant homosexuals would usually leave.
According to experts, death is inevitable, and has a nasty habit of creeping up on us when it's least expected. It's thought that this may well have been what happened to Mr Gately, or was it 'Mrs Gately', bearing in mind the fruit was married to a man?
Police say they are interested in speaking to the owner of a huge sickle found near to Mr Gately's apartment, and have issued a photofit picture of a hooded figure cloaked in black who was seen gliding away from the scene about the time of his expiry.
Any members of the public who see Death, should not approach him, as he is described by the police as dangerous, and could strike again.
