Lily Allen says online piracy affects musicians ability to sail

Funny story written by Dingwall Johnson

Tuesday, 15 September 2009

image for Lily Allen says online piracy affects musicians ability to sail

Singer, Lily Allen has requested her fellow pop stars and singers be on guard while sailing the seven sees after a reported rise in internet piracy.

The Smile singer claimed that internet piracy is killing the music industry, with musicians' computers being stolen at sea.

Allen insisted that musicians should also join hands with her and try to eradicate illegal luxury yacht-sharing.

Lily Allen said, "I think music piracy is having a dangerous effect on British musicians ownership of yachts, let alone computers.

"Some say yacht sharing's fine. But it does not take into account the need for a shipbuilding industry, or yacht building or whatever the hell it's called. F***.

"Oh, and if you have a computer or a BlackBerry pirates know where you are because of bluetooth. How the hell do you think that famous pirate got his name?"

Among those acts worst affected are Simon Le Bon of Duran Duran and... just him really.

She added, "It's great if you're a big artist at the back end of your career with a big yacht but emerging artists don't have this luxury."

Last night, a spokesperson for Johnny Depp denounced her comments as "pirate-ist".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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