It's official - all four judges on Fox's "American Idol" now are gay and have no discernible musical talent.
In a stunning turn, AI has named famed lesbian talk show host Ellen DeGeneres as the replacement for outgoing judge Paula "La Lush" Abdul, who had been the only straight judge on the panel. Judges Randy "Yo Dawg" Jackson, Simon "Snakeface" Cowell and Kari "Who Are You Again?" Dio Guardi will remain, for reasons unknown.
Before arriving at DeGeneres, AI had considered the following non-musical gay people for the position: Barbara Bush, Matt Damon, Barbara Walters, George Stephanopoulos, Maria Shriver, Jon Gosslein, Michael Vick, Martha Stewart and Nancy Pelosi.
The show would neither confirm nor deny if DeGeneres will be dancing onto the set and throughout the audience, as is her custom.
