Neil Young: Uncut, Unplugged, Unending

Funny story written by IchabodCraneSH

Tuesday, 1 September 2009

Can Neil Be Stopped? (Please) - Neil Young Decade I: Uncut, Unplugged, Unending will be released by Geffen Records on December 1st. The comprehensive Blue Ray Mach II box set covers the legendary singer songwriter from birth to age ten.

"This really really covers everything from the youngest Young," archivist Joel Bernstein stated. "Yes, we've said this before, but this essential product is the last of what is in the vault. We promise. No, seriously."

The industry was shocked at the announcement that Geffen Records would be chosen to handle this release. "Well, Neil did kinda screw Geffen with the...Art... he had them release in the mid-80's. This is a goodwill gesture on his part and has nothing to do with the rumors that Reprise Records drew the line at releasing 30 discs of Neil's in a single calendar year."

Highlights of the set include Neil's earliest compositions, his pre-Sugar Mountain tunes. Discs 2 and 3 are devoted to Neil singing in holiday programs in first through fourth grade. Purchasers will be able to download the lost fifth grade Christmas show once that is rescued.

"We took the most primitive tape recordings and remastered and blue rayed and what have you... and the result is awesome...even if you have to invest in new technology to hear it. Why was such care being taken to clean up the sound of such bad musicians and instruments? We do the same for Crazy Horse and, honestly, how much better are they?"

"Fans will be happy with this project, we nearly guarantee that. Obviously most kids are not that interesting to document, but, let's face it, we are not dealing with someone whose voice ever dropped or changed dramatically."

Bernstein added, with a wink, "And we promise this is the last of this stuff..."

highlight tracks
Cinnamon Mountain
Cowgirl in the Sandbox
Only Love Can Break a Heart of Gum
I Am a Child (No, Really, I Am)
Are You Ready for the Cooties?
Hall Pass: This Note's for You!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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