Taylor Lautner Steroid Use Affects Film Set Crew Member

Funny story written by The San Francisco Onion

Thursday, 20 August 2009

image for Taylor Lautner Steroid Use Affects Film Set Crew Member
Steroids no longer part of Schwarzenegger's regimen, says Wordsworth.

VANCOUVER, British Columbia - Manchild Taylor Lautner has a serious problem, said a lighting technician, and it's starting to cause tensions on the set.

Phillip Wordsworth, 33, said he has had the exact same problem with other actors in the past, but until Lautner, none of them were ever so completely oblivious to the effects of their damaging behavior on those around them.

"If I've told him once, I've told him a hundred times," exclaimed Wordsworth, shaking a folded up newspaper. "Don't fill it in if you're not absolutely sure! Here - just look at this!"

He gestured at a crossword puzzle where Lautner had filled in seven spaces with the word "steroid."

"See here?? Forty-two down - 'Schwarzenegger takes one daily,'" read Wordsworth. "Now, if he had only taken a moment to consider the rest of the clues, he would have seen the answer is clearly 'geritol.' And to make matters worse, he used ink!!

"Damnit!!" he shouted, throwing the paper to the ground in disgust.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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