Late Breaking News Remains Unbroken

Funny story written by The San Francisco Onion

Monday, 13 July 2009

image for Late Breaking News Remains Unbroken
"Hay gran pedo! Para mucho tiempo, lo que escribi esta parado, pero no puedo encontrar el p*nche jefe!"

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - A Bay Area spoof writer said he published three stories last night, and another one just now, but still hasn't seen diddly-squat for activity.

He said he "want[s] answers."

"What the hell is going on around here?" snarled the deranged lunatic, spraying his computer screen with spittle. "I slave over a hot keyboard all night to serve these stories while they're hot, then they just sit there and get cold!

"And I'm not exactly a big fan of re-heated leftovers from last night's news media menu!!" he screamed, scribbling down the quips on scratch paper as he continued his ceaseless tirade.

Witnesses said the spoofer left for work around mid-afternoon, proceeding up the sidewalk as he muttered to himself, informing all within earshot of the many unkindnesses done to him during the course of his miserable existence.

Upon arriving, co-workers said the spoofer jockeyed more agressively than usual for unauthorized computer time, then complained incessantly for eight more hours at the continued delay of his publications.

Many urged the agitated spoofer to "just calm down", indicating that anything could have happened; perhaps The Spoof's print media primary picked a palatable yet particularly potent pepper that pacified the pace-setting paleface, now prostate in his pajamas. Nobody knows for sure.

More if we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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