Chlamydia, Espana - Amazing events here in Chlamydia Del Sol, as legendary Matador Enrique De Los Locos brought a whole new dimension to the sport of bullfighting.
With the late Ernest Hemingway looking on from the stands, and in blazing sunshine, De Los Locos entered the arena in his suit of lights and struck a dramatic pose for the benefit of assembled papparazzi.
Then they released the bull.
What would usually ensue at this point is that picadors, mounted on Arab horses would stab the bull with dart like knives around his shoulders, thus weakening the animal.
On this unique occasion, it did not happen.
In a complete departure from a whole lot of cape-teasing and OLE-ing culminating in the coup de grace with a sword through the heart, De Los Locos, seemingly unarmed, stood face to face with the angry confused bull.
The crowd gasped as De Los Locos calmly approached the animal and placed his hands on its potentially lethal horns and started to whisper in its ear.
The famous matador then calmly walked the uninjured animal out of the arena. A translator close to the scene told us that what De Los Locos was whispering to the bull, essentially amounted to:
"Come with me son. There's no need for all of this. Come on, let's go down the pub. I'll buy the beers."
Dead celebrity spectator Hemingway was heard to mutter:
"What a frickin' rip off! I paid to see some blood in the sun!"
More absolute bullshit as we get it.