Penis Minus Wilson (not his real name) will be on the cover of "We Like Candy" next month after the discovery that his penis is the same size as the new "fun size" candy treats.
"How about that?" Wilson asked a writer for the Candy Magazine. Turns out that these little snacks and my little snack are the same size exactly."
Apparently the very small candy bars that are the backbone of the Halloween treats has been shrunken still again because of the current economy collapse.
Customers are instructed on the candy wrapper to be sure and smell the candy goody to get the full effect and then to move it around in their mouth with their tongue and gargle for a blast of peanut butter, golden caramel nougat and a pinhead dollop of peanut butter.
"We wanted Penis to be our official star on our wrappers saying, "They're as big as my own special candy".
"You know it's funny", stated Wilson. "Here I have this teeny weenie and I'm making money hand over fist. Well, actually, only two fingers."
"From now on when someone special asks, I'll be able to say "it's the fun-size"
"Who knows, my old lady who left me for 'irreconcilable differences in out sizes' will be back and maybe I'll have enough money from doing these candy bars, to finally have that BIG operation."
"Who can take a sunrise, sprinkle it with spew. Cover it with whipped cream, another inch makes two...the Candy Man can..."