Miley Cyrus Learns Karate

Funny story written by howy

Tuesday, 16 June 2009


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Miley Cyrus is learning karate at the Chang Karate school in New Jersey in the event she is placed in prison with voracious lesbians.

"I am learning karate because I fear that one day I might end up in prison and I don't want to get attacked by desperate lesbians looking for a boyfriend", said Miley.

Miley Cyrus has a green belt in karate and is considered a powerful fighter by her instructor.

Her karate instructor is Tony Johnson who holds a black belt in karate and who learned the martial art in Japan when he was stationed in the Navy.

Her instructor says karate is practically a waste of time if confronting an assailant that is armed with a gun.

There is a 30% percent chance that a pupil of karate might encounter an attacker with a gun and it's not a good reason to avoid learning karate.

Tony Johnson says, "Even against all odds, karate is still a valuable tool to have because it puts you one step ahead of your opponent."

The most important use of karate is in prison where people are not allowed to own guns. In a prison situation where a person faces a violent homosexual attack by groups of desperate inmates, karate is the only tool that can prevent the attack.

In a situation where a homosexual inmate is using a home made knife, karate prepares the student to disarm the knife. Karate is a martial art that teaches self-defense against knifes, sticks and swords.

During the interview at the karate school, Miley Cyrus demonstrated how she would defend herself against an attack by prison lesbians.

"I would kick one lesbian in the clitoris to discourage her sexual attack," "from behind I would kick another in the vagina which is very sensitive, and the kick should try to bury the foot deep into the rear to get to the nerves," said Miley.

Her instructor taught her to kick a woman's breast from the sides to cause extreme pain and immediately halt a lesbian attack. The throat, neck, knees and eyes are also viable points of attack.

The vulva is a major target because it is full of pain receptors and will cause significant pain. The karate manual shows males and females alike demonstrating kicks to the female groin.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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