Written by NickFun

Saturday, 13 June 2009

image for Authorities Narrow Possible Causes of David Carradine's Death to 10
This rope was not found in Carradine's Hotel Room

Now that authorities have ruled out suicide as a cause of death for actor David Carradine, they have narrowed the list of possible causes of death to only 10.

We are looking at maybe a half dozen possible scenarios and 4 or 5 more less possible scenarios", said Carradine family doctor Michael Baden. "It may have been accidental autoerotic asphyxiation, accidental autoerotic asphyxiation with another party involved, deliberate autoerotic asphyxiation by a third party, Murder with the ropes made to make it look like accidental autoerotic asphyxiation, natural causes such as a heart attack, a drug overdose, a crime committed in the heat of passion or an accident that had nothing to do with autoerotic asphyxiation . I'd rather not go into the less likely scenarios unless they start to look more likely".

"Not to mention", Dr Biden continued, that Carradine smoked cigaretts. We can't rule our lung cancer just yet".

Local Turkish authorities are looking more closely at these other possible causes of death and have put their suicide theory aside for the time being.

"We have come to the definite conclusion that he died of something", said Bangkok Police Chief Bpthef Unpronounceabley.

Authroities are witing for toxicology tests to return so they can limit the possible causes even further.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Michael Jackson




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