Gay "American Idol" Runner-Up "Gay" Adam Lambert Admits He Is Gay!

Funny story written by Bureau

Thursday, 11 June 2009

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Adam Lambert's Cousin Percival Who Is Not Gay

Gay "American Idol" runner-up Gay Adam Lambert finally addresses the intense speculation about his gay sexuality and reveals why he waited until now to publicly announce it in the upcoming issue of "Rolling Stone Magazine Featuring Gay Adam Lambert!"

"I don't think it should be a surprise for anyone to hear that I'm gay," Gay Adam tells the new issue, hitting newsstands this week. "I mean, the crowd kept calling me Gay Adam Lambert from my very first gay appearance. Then right after the finale, I almost started talking about, in a gay voice to the reporters, but I thought, 'I'm going to wait for Rolling Stone Gay Cover, that will be cooler,'" he says.

Gay Adam said he doesn't know why his parents called him Gay but maybe they had a vision or something. He didn't want a repeat of the situation that happened with another gay "Idol" runner-up, Gay Clay Aiken, who waited years before publicly acknowledging his homosexuality after twisting his ass all over the stage.

"I didn't want the Gay Clay Aiken thing and the celebrity-magazine-paparazzi bull crap. I needed to be able to explain my gay self in the context of my real first name being Gaylord," 27-year-old Gay Adam tells the magazine. "But my friends have always called me, Gay...of course, they're all gay too."

"I guess "Clay Aiken" was as close as Gay Clay Aiken wanted to come to just telling everyone."

The Gay singer, who also just announced a new Gay record deal, says he felt that coming out as gay would have affected the tremendous reaction he was getting on "American Idol." "I was worried that my gayness would be so sensationalized that it would overshadow what I was there to do, which was sing. I'm a gay entertainer, and who I am and what I do in my personal gay life is a separate thing. It shouldn't matter," he says.

"But then they learned my first name was Gaylord and so they started that 'Gay' thing."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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