Eurovision : Noway's Alexander Rybak is in love with a fairytale - Rumplestilskin!

Written by Khadija

Saturday, 16 May 2009

image for Eurovision : Noway's Alexander Rybak is in love with a fairytale - Rumplestilskin!
Rumplestilskin waiting in woods for Alexander's victorious return!

Alexander Rybak, 23 from Norway the winner of the Eurovision Song Contest 2009; who scored 600 points in the 'loosely' defined spectacle called a competition has revealed his love for sadistic fairytale midget Rumplestilskin.

As a young boy in Norway, Alexander happened upon the demonic little man in the woods. Alex told our reporter "He was jumping up and down repeating his name and weaving a suit of the finest yarn. He saw me peeking from behind the bushes and beckoned me towards him. Even though he was a fairytale dwarf and I was a fiddle playing Norwegian boy , something magical happened between us and I fell in love with him on the spot".

After his success in the competition where everyone speaks in squiggly languages and wears funny clothes, Alexander hopes to settle down with Rumplestilskin in a Ginger Bread cottage, in Faraway Valley.

Many young girl and Graham Norton may have fallen for Alexander Rybak's cheeky ways and impish grin, but he only has eyes and lips for the wicked little troll man; who is responsible for sexually harassing many a fairytale Princess.

Rumplestilskin professed his delight over Norway's win, by stating " I will cook him a slap up meal with a glass of dandelion wine. And in the morning when he wakes up I will be sitting on the edge of his bed with my brother whose name is Fred....Wait a minute that's not me that's David Bowie's laughing gnome. You get the picture though!"

Alexander has expressed an interest in singing with the world famous Susan Boyle and the legendary seventies British band 'The Grumbleweeds'.

Britain's entry in the competition was a lady singing about stuff , she didn't come last. Which meant she will be forgotten, unlike the best group of all JEMINI who lost out to Dana International - where is he/ she now? And to be honest everybody else beat them that year- including Terry Wogan's whistle, recorded while he was taking a poo in the gents executive bathroom.

Jemini were great!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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