War Breaks Out Between Boyle, Cowell

Funny story written by Bureau

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

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Uncle Simon Wants YOU (To Stay In Britain)

A war has erupted between overnight singing sensation Susan Boyle & Simon Cowell according to...well...me.

Sarah's brother John is quoted as saying, "My sister couldn't be anymore popular than she is right now. She deserves to get to go to America where she can be on shows like Oprah and show her talent. If we wait too long, people's memories are short and she won't be nearly as popular."

But apparently Simon Cowell is determined to hold Sarah to the contract she signed and it keeps her on "Britain's Got Talent" until the end of the show and maybe even later.

Reportedly even Ryan Seacrest has asked Cowell to at least allow Susan to make an appearance on America's counterpart, "American Idol".

"That would keep her in the public eye. She's not asking to be paid, just to be a guest."

But the hard-headed TV producer - who controls Boyle with an ironclad contract - has ordered Boyle to stay in Britain.

He insists the Scottish singer must stick to the agreement she signed when she was a nobody auditioning for Britain's Got Talent. It allows Simon "Legree" Cowell to determine where and when she performs. Simon reportedly told her to "go home and shut the door" until she appears in the semifinal round at the end of May.

"Sue finally has the opportunity to show the whole world how great a singer she is" John is reported as saying. "But some people are only thinking about all the money their greedy hands can get a hold on, not to mention names."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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