Bob Dylan was at the centre of a storm in a toilet this week. Local residents in Malibu have complained that the wrinkly folk icon is "a smelly arsed bastard" and that he "shits on everyone in Malibu".
There have been calls for protest songs to be written about the smell coming from Dylan's portable toilet. The toilet is used by security guards, who are not allowed anywhere near the house. A spokesperson for Mr Dylan said "Obviously Mr Dylan does not allow servants in the house. Unless it's to cook and clean for him. They have to make do with an outside shit house."
Former Dylan employee Robbie Robertson recalled that it was ever thus. "Man, in the sixties we used to have to share this little crapper between us, while Bob was up in that mansion sitting on a diamond encrusted seat."
Local mayor Andy Stern was quick to try and smooth things over. "I have never been involved with Mr Dylan's toilet. Or anybody else's." said the politician, unconvincingly.
Bob Dylan was asked to comment. He replied:
"Someone's got it in for me, they're planting stories in the press
Whoever it is I wish they'd cut it out but when they will I can only guess."
