Time-out on Bale shout-fest: Internet watchdog declares actor's blow-up "not funny anymore"

Funny story written by Alun Richards

Saturday, 28 February 2009

The controversial Internet watchdog Vigil, set up by the American government in 2005 in order to "redefine freedom boundaries", has announced that the infamous rant delivered by Christian Bale on the set of Terminator 4 is no longer an "appropriate" source of humour.

In a press conference this morning, a spokesperson for the organisation condemned "the continuing efforts that are being made to scrape the remaining clotted smears of funniness from [the infamous rant delivered by Christian Bale on the set of Terminator 4]'s ravaged corpse."

He went on to say that Vigil has been empowered to deliver on-the-spot fines (via email) to any websites that continue to post humour-based articles related to the incident.

Numerous parties have attacked this measure, arguing that it contravenes basic human rights and freedom of expression. "This may not seem like a big deal now," wrote one blogger, "but what are the long-term implications? In five years time the Thought Police will be telling us we can't look at videos of amateur strippers falling off chairs or babies inadvertently mimicking adult behaviour...it's like they've outlawed laughter!!!"

The "user-generated-video-content comedy site" Funny.Vu has gone even further, by creating an e-petition aimed at encouraging the American government to overrule Vigil's actions. It has also urged all Internet humourists to continue publishing Bale-related content.

"To the friends of funniness everywhere," reads a statement on the website's front page, "we implore you to ignore this fascistic intervention. Keep posting your Bale videos, remixes and fake news articles...don't allow these sinister suits to tell you what's funny and what isn't."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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