Sir Paul steps out with new all wooden girlfriend

Funny story written by Xavier Black

Friday, 27 February 2009

Former Beatle Sir Paul McCartney has been seen out and about this week with a mysterious woman, and his agent has confirmed that he and Victoria Woodentop, 39, are in fact a couple.

Victoria, a sales executive for a lumber company, lost her limbs, head and torso in a car accident in 2004 and needed a 14 hour operation to replace her body parts with wooden prosthetics. She has since made a full recovery.

The couple are believed to have met at a forestry convention in early January but have kept their blossoming relationship private until now.

In an unrelated story, Sir Paul's agent has confirmed that the legendary musician has been hospitalised for removal of splinters from his face and genital region.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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