Year of the Year 2009

Funny story written by Roy Turse

Saturday, 7 February 2009

image for Year of the Year 2009
Royal Albert Hall - Venue for Year of the Year 2009

In the hard-fought annual battle to decide the Year of the Year 2009, the final result has been universally welcomed. As most people are aware, the preliminary rounds of the contest were decided by the voting public when, over a six week period, the popular BBC programme Year Factor 2009 whittled the forty-eight contesting years down to the six finalist years that went through to yesterdays Year of the Year 2009 Finale at the Albert Hall. The judging panel, made up of a hundred and one eminent celebrities, statesmen and chronologists, took fifty minutes to make their decision.

The show, which will be televised tonight, is hosted by Terry Wogan and Fearne Cotton and features a hilarious set by comedian Harry Hill, shown while the voting takes place. Earlier in the evening individual stars make cases for their own favourite years. Jonathan Ross makes an impassioned speech supporting the year 2007. He says it represents the pinnacle of years and will be forever dear in his memory. Katie Boyle, talking about the year 1960, explains it is amazing to her because, after her humble start in life, she got to host the Eurovision Song Contest on the first of four occasions. Actor and presenter Ross Kemp says that 1990 has a special meaning for him personally because it was the year that he broke into 'the business', staring in a Fruit and Fibre advert.

Video footage of the various years is screened throughout the programme and the auditorium fills with the emotional 'oohs' and 'aahs' as the clips unfold. Several members of the audience are seen in tears when coverage of particularly poignant events is shown.

The climax of the show is breathtaking but also very moving as the various contending years fall away to leave the resplendent Year of the Year 2009 standing triumphant on a huge crystal dais. Last year's winner, 2008, presents the winning year with a magnificent crown and a bouquet of spring flowers.

You can see the Finale of Year of the Year 2009, and find out which year was the winner, on BBC1 at 8:30pm this evening.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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