50 Cent: 'I'm Mozart.'

Funny story written by James Mill

Saturday, 31 January 2009

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image for 50 Cent: 'I'm Mozart.'
Snoop Dogg: 'He's a bloody liar.'

Following the growing trend of televised celebrity regression, we can reveal some alarming revelations about rapper and prat 50 Cent, who has revealed that he was in fact Mozart in his former existence.

"It would explain a lot" quipped the potty mouthed gangster rapper.

"That will be why people are always shouting 'you pianist!!!' in the streets and at my concerts."

When informed that the shouts were more likely to be "you penis!!!" Fiddy blubbed like a little girl and wet himself all over his plastic Nike trousers.

50 Cent continued, "I'm Mozart, and that's why I have so much fecal matter hurled into my face during concerts and in everyday life."

Confused, we asked him to elaborate.

"You see, in Mozart's time sanitation wasn't what it was today, and it was quite normal to throw shit from windows and onto passers by. I'm touched that fans are trying to make me feel at home."

50 Cent/Mozart's film 'Get Rich Or Die Tryin' is shown on Sky movies this week and is shit.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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